1. |
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MB: Hi sweetie, do you need to have your diaper changed?
K: No
MB: Are you sure?
K: No
MB: Well, I think we should go take care of your diaper. You’ll feel so good and fresh afterward. And then, when we’re done, we can get a snack. Doesn’t that sound nice?
K: No
MB: Hmmm . . .
K: Hmmm . . .
MB: I guess I need to change tactics . . .
MB: Okay, let’s go! I’m scooping you up! It’s Time to Change Your Diaper!
Don’t know why
But every time
Since you were small
And wee alive
You acted like coyotes were goin’ after you
Goin’ after, after you
Changing you
Was so freaky and wild
If it was me
I’d be the same
I’d be wailing and moaning, just like you
Like you, just like you
I would SCREECH and CRRYYYY
And act like the world was ending . . .
Diaper Chorus x2
It’s time to change your diaper
It’s time to get clean and fresh
It’s time to change your diaper
Looks like you made a mess
K: Wahhh!
MB: Oh dear, I think I need to be an octopus for this job. I need eight arms! Oh sweetie, please be still. Let Mommy change your diaper.
K: Wahhh!
MB: Do you want Dada to help us?
K: Wahhh . . . Yesss . . .
MB to T: Honey? Honey! Heeellllpppp
Chris: I’m here to save the day!
Not getting better
It’s still the world’s worst thing
But, that’s okay ‘cause as time goes by
Mama-Dada gettin’ punk and tough
It’s okay to be
“Talkative”
Even if it bursts an eardrum
It’s okay to be a wiggle worm
‘Cause Mama -Dada are punk and tough!
It’s better to be free, to have some air down there, to clean up the poops and the pee, to take away the red, prevent it with some A+D
Diaper Chorus x3
Oh yeah! We changed your diaper!
Oh yeah! We’re clean and fresh!
Oh yeah! We changed your diaper!
No, No, No, No, No, No, No More Mess!
MB: Yay! We did it! Look, sweetie, we’re all done!
K: All done!
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2. |
Quotable Parent
03:53
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|
Hi there sweetie, I love you so
But I find myself surprised by this crazy new lingo
Must come from early feedings, being sleep deprived
And the worry that comes with keeping you alive
I have little phrases, for my peace of mind
Singing them -- makes it all seem fine
But when I listen to myself, while tryin’ to have fun
I just roll my eyes ‘cause I sound kind of dumb
Quotable Chorus x2
Oh well, I’ve become
The Quotable Parent
Repeating myself to infinity
But when I get on a roll
I sound blah blah blah blah-bity
But maybe, just maybe, these aphorisms
Will stick in your head so you have Baby Wisdom
The house will stay neat and not be a wreck
And not get too sticky so you say, “What the heck?”
You won’t eat the wrong thing
Or fall down the stairs
You’ll stay safe and healthy
Just attacked by teddy bears
Some really good lines have come to mind
All from watching you grow oh so fine
Quotable Chorus x2
These phrases have been cultivated and marinated
while I’ve felt more than sedated
by love and watching you grow
So here goes . . .
Be gentle with your books
Don’t throw food on the floor
Part of growing up
Is drinking milk out of a cup
Pee and poop go in the potty
Not in your pants
Don’t be a high-pitched screamer
Or I might send you to France
The Uffizi’s in Florence, your feeteez don’t go on the table
Please pick up your toys as soon as you are able
The worst thing about toddlers is they don’t understand the future
But, when it comes to presents they are absolutely sure
Don’t put ketchup on your sister
Do you want a time out?
I’ve had it with snot
And seeing your mouth in a pout
Say goodbye to your toys
So we can get to the store
We can play with them later
Why are you lying on the floor?
No mama pickup
Oh what did you lose?
Please eat the beets
Don’t put your hands in your shoes
Let’s end this puking spree
Listen to meee
Let’s race to the car!
You win again! You’re a star!
Hit it!
Quotable Chorus x2
Oh well, I’ve become
The Quotable Parent
Repeating myself to infinity
But, when I get on a roll
I sound blah blah blah blah-bity
|
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3. |
NFB (Not for Babies)
04:49
|
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|
Electrical outlets, stove, cabinets
Mommy’s plants
Streets, doors
Anything yucky on the ground [Don’t Eat It!]
Buggies [Let Them Be]
Sharp things and other things that cause OW-WEEEZ
KA BOOM!
NFB Chorus
What are these?
What are these things?
They are NFB
What’s that you say?
They are NFB
Not for Babies
No No No No No
Fire, toxins, garbage cans
Trash [Don’t Touch That!]
Phones and computers [Don’t’ Hit The Power Button, PLEEZE]
Cocktails, beer, wine [Parental Libations]
Hot coffee, hot drinks, hot food -- Anything HOT! [HOT!]
Daddy’s razor, feminine hygiene products
NFB Chorus
Baby, These Things are Not for You – ooh – ooh
Not for Baby, Okay?
Do What I Say, Okay?
Don’t Touch That – Listen to Mama
Listen to Dada
These Things are Not for You – ooh
Standing in the tub
Poop! Ewww!
Toilet water, toilet paper
Buttons [Don’t Push’Em ‘less Mama says OK!]
NFB Chorus
Baby, These Things are Not for You – ooh – ooh
Not for Babies, Okay?
Do What I Say, Okay?
Don’t Touch That – Listen to Mama
Listen to Dada
I say Baby, These Things are Not for You – ooh
Pills and medicine
Public restroom floors
The TV remote
Expensive things on shelves at grandma’s house [STOP!]
Snacks and candies at the store checkout
Mama says Nooooo!
Again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again
Baby, These Things are Not for You – ooh – ooh
Not for Babies, Okay?
Do What I Say, Okay?
Don’t Touch That – Listen to Mama
Listen to Dada
I say Baby, These Things are Not for You – ooh
I say Baby, These Things are Not for You – No
Not for Babies, Okay?
Do What I Say, Okay?
Don’t Touch That – Listen to Mama
Listen to Dada
I say Baby, These Things are Not for You
Outlets on the wall, No knives ‘cause you’re too small, Not for Babies, Not for Babies
Trash on the ground, any nasty stuff you’ve found, Not for Babies, Not for Babies
Whatever gives you an ouch, don’t put it in your mouth, Not for Babies, Not for Babies
Your sweet, your new, so we watch over you, Love’s for Babies, Love’s for Babies, Love’s for Babies, Love’s for Babies, Love’s for Babies . . . ooh yeah . . . for Babies . . .
|
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4. |
Snuggle Mama
03:21
|
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|
Snuggle mama
I’m your snuggle ma-mah
Sweet child, sweet kid, my love
Mama pickup, ma-mah pick up
Let’s hold each other close
Nose to nose
You were born and that was day one
Of being your snuggle ma-mah
Skin to skin, we are kin
I’m always gonna be here for you
Truly and steadfast
My love
For you
Will last
Snuggle mama
I’m your snuggle ma-mah
Sweet child, sweet kid, my love
Mama pickup, ma-mah pick up
Let’s hold each other tight
By and by
I’ve held you along from teeny baby to toddler
Loved watching you grow but some days are slow
Looking back it’s all been too fast
But, I’m always gonna be here for you
Truly and steadfast
My love
For you
Will last
Snuggle mama
I’m your snuggle ma-mah
Sweet child, sweet kid, my love
Mama pickup, ma-mah pick up
Let’s keep each other warm
Arm in arm
Snuggle mama
I’m your snuggle ma-mah
Sweet child, sweet kid, my love
Mama pickup, ma-mah pick up
Let’s hold each other close
Nose to nose
Snuggle mama
I’m your snuggle ma-mah
Sweet child, sweet kid, my love
Mama pickup, ma-mah pick up
Let’s hold each other tight
By and by
Let’s keep each other warm
Arm in arm
Truly and steadfast
My love
For you
Will last
|
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5. |
Baby Rights
03:11
|
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|
Baby Rights Chorus x2
Get upsy-daisy
Stand up!
For baby rights
Stand up!
Get upsy-daisy
Feet in
Pants go up all right
Feet out!
First we hide the feet
Where did they go, oh no
Pants are o’er your toes
Only mama knows
But they are safe and sound
But where did they go?
Then they pop out
All ten toes
Time to sing again!
Baby Rights Chorus x2
Everyone knows you get
What you want to get
But they may not know
Of the special entitlement
To you and your baby
Friends
It is called
the Baby Bill of Rights
And it goes like this . . .
You get fed what you want
You cry for attention and it’s okay
You can spit up anywhere
Even on mama and dada
You are always cute
No matter what
And everyone loves you . . . especially your cute butt
You are the universe
The air, water, matter, and fire
You are loved and desired
You are loved, You are loved, You are loved
. . . oooohhhh . . . upsy daisy!
Baby Rights Chorus x2
Get upsy-daisy!
Baby Rights! Baby Rights! Baby Rights!
. . . oooohhhh . . . upsy-daisy!
|
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6. |
Peek A Boo
03:36
|
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|
Hey! Hello, Seattle! Yeah, ya know, I haven’t slept in seven years. But it’s been a blast . . . it’s been all worth it. Let’s play a little game of Peek A Boo. Let’s go!
Hey, can you see the clouds up there?
They’re hiding something --- Not just anything
It’s a great big star
We call the sun --- Oh how fun
The sun plays peek a boo
Just like you
Peek A Book Chorus
Peek a boo sun!
Peek a boo you!
Peek a boo me!
Hey! Let’s hide again!
Peek a boo sun!
Peek a boo you!
Peek a boo me!
Hey! Let’s hide again!
Peek a boo sun!
Peek a boo you!
Peek a boo me!
Hey! Let’s hide again!
Peek a boo sun!
Peek a boo you!
Peek a boo meeeeeee!
Under a blankie
Behind a chair
I can’t seem to find you anywhere
I see a toe, I see some hair
I see an ear or an eye peeking there
Maybe if I look under this?
What is that wiggle?
Is it a fish?
Peek A Boo Chorus
Up in the sky, peeking through
A blanket of clouds --- the sun likes hiding too
It loves to play, without a care
It’s always there
The sun plays peek a boo
Juh-Juh-Juh-Juh-Just like you
Peek A Boo Chorus
I feel the warmth
I have a clue
I think I know -- Where to find you
Clouds hide that big star
But I know where you both are
Ready or not, here I come
To seek and find
Your smile
Like the sun
Hey, let’s hide again
Hey, let’s hide again
Hey, let’s hide again
Heehhyy! Let’s hide!
Peek A Boo Chorus
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
|
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7. |
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|
Shall we say
Goodnight
To the Light
Little One
Shall we say
Goodnight
To the Light
Little One
Shall we wave to the Moon and
Blow it a kiss
Shall we hug a sweet hug
And say “ahhhh . . .”
Shall we say
Goodnight
To the Light
Time to close our sleepy eyes
Time to snuggle down
To be cozy and dream
Little and big dreams
While the stars sparkle and dance across the sky
You will be safe in your bed
After a sweet kiss on your head
Shall we wave to the Moon and
Blow it a kiss
Shall we hug a sweet hug
And say “ahhhh . . .”
Shall we say
Goodnight
To the Light
Little One
Time to close our sleepy eyes
Time to snuggle down
To be cozy and dream
Little and big dreams
While the stars sparkle and dance across the sky
You will be safe in your bed
After a sweet kiss on your head . . .
Shall we say
Goodnight
To the Light
Little One
|
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8. |
Biggie Blanket
03:39
|
|||
|
Biggie Blanket Chorus
I’m gonna wrap you up in a biggie blanket
And keep you toasty warm
I’m gonna wrap you up in a biggie blanket
And hold you close, what’s more
I love you
You’re in my embrace
I love you
‘Til there’s no space
Between us
Between us
Between us
There’s just love
Come on baby, let me wrap you up in this, biggie blanket
You’ll feel all safe and good
Tell this bug to go away
Leave your body alone
No more feelin’ bad
Get some rest, snuggle down
Baby, let me wrap you up, in this biggie blanket
Come on baby, let me wrap you up in this, biggie blanket
It’s time for nighty-night
You’ve been playing hard all day
Let’s give your body a rest
Slow it down, let’s cuddle up, no more dancing all around
Baby, let me wrap you up! In this biggie blanket
Biggie Blanket Chorus
Come on baby, let me wrap you up in this, biggie blanket
So we can go outside and see the stars
I’ll hold you tight while we both look up
Marvel at what we see
We’ll be so warm to infinity
Come on baby, let me wrap you up
Biggie Blanket Chorus
|
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9. |
I Do
01:43
|
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|
I Do, I Do
I Do, I Do
I Do, I Do, I Do
I Do, I Do
My kid’s first song
And it goes like this
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do
Can’t you see he’s brilliant?
Yes, I think so too
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do
After a failed day of potty training
I guess he got inspired
Tired of all the questions – Do you have to go?
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do
But he wouldn’t or he couldn’t
No, No, No
The pee and the poo
Were all on the floor
But at least we have this song
So, let’s sing some more
Hey, Kid! What d’ya say?
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do
We Do, We Do, We Do, We Do
I Do, I Do, I Do
I Do, I Do
I Do, I Do
I Do, I Do
I Do, I Do, I Do
I Do, I Do
|
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10. |
||||
|
Ooooooh . . . . yeah
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, doooooo
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep . . . . go to sleep!
Tonight, will I get any sleep?
It's a complete unknown
That worries me every time that you peep
But tonight, I will be there no matter what
‘Cause baby, I was made for you
And baby, you were made for me
I was made for loving you, baby
You were made for lovin' me
And I can't get enough of you, baby
Can you get enough of me?
Oh baby, please sleep 'til morning
That would be magical
To be in dreamland, not in screamland
But tonight, let's make that come true
‘Cause baby, I was made for you and you for me
But we both need sleeeeppppppp
I was made for loving you, baby
You were made for lovin' me
And I can't get enough of you, baby
Can you get enough of me?
I was made for loving you, baby
You were made for lovin' me
And I can give it all to you, baby
If you sleep through the night
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I can’t get enough . . . . . of sleep . . . . whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
I can’t get enough . . .of sleep . . . oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I can’t get enough
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep
I was made for loving you, baby
You were made for lovin' me
And I can't get enough of you, baby
Can you get enough of me?
I was made for loving you, baby
You were made for lovin’ me
And I can give it all to you, baby
If you sleep through the night
I was made
You were made
Now, it’s time to go to sleep . . .
Yes, it’s time to go to sleep . . .
Now, it’s time . . . to go . . . to sleep . . .
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep
|
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11. |
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|
Naked Boy!
What are your super powers?
You can run really fast
You can jump really high
You can swim like a fish
Naked Girl!
What are your super powers?
You can spin all around
You can lift heavy things
And make a huge splash
Pjs and cape
Ready to go-go-go-go
So incognito
Dashing all over
You’ve got work to do
The dog and cat
Don’t recognize you
Evade your mom
Bypass your dad
It’s time to go ---- oooooooo
Take your towel – dry off now!
Bathtime is done! Superhero ruuuuunnnnnn!
Naked Boy!
What are your super powers?
It’s time for bed
Just one more book
Then dad is off the hook
Naked Girl!
What are your super powers?
You can brush your teeth
Then get to sleep
Mom needs you to crash . . . like an ocean wave . . .
It’s not so bad
To stay up late-late-late-late
Parental foes
They’ll just say,
“Don’t procrastinate!”
But it is time
for bed-ed-ed-ed-ed-hed
You’ve fought the good fight
Turn out the light
It’s time to go ---- oooooooo
Under the covers -- disappear
Use your magic to chase your fears -- Goodnight!
Naked Kids!
What are your super powers?
You can run really fast
You can jump really high
You can swim like a fish
Naked Kids!
What are your super powers?
You can spin all around
You can lift heavy things
And make a huge splash
Pjs and cape
Ready to go-go-go-go
So incognito
Dashing all over
You’ve got work to do
The dog and cat
Don’t recognize you
Evade your mom
Bypass your dad
It’s time to go ---- oooooooo
Time to recharge -- Tomorrow will come
For you to use --
your Super Powers!
|
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12. |
Feats of Mediocrity
08:47
|
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|
Parents are heroes
We get more done before 9 am
Than most do all week
Juggle that
You know how it is
But it’s all worth it
There are no medals or tiaras
No Oscars or applause
There’s no sleeping in or
Sleeping through the night
But you do get to re-enjoy Santa Claus
If you ever did in the first place
Getting through a day without crying
That’s a Feat of Mediocrity
Getting by after being woken at 4 am
Trying to drink your coffee without spilling it
while a kid invades your lap
That’s a Feat of Mediocrity
Can you comfort a hollerin’ kid in the middle of the night?
I can!
Can you whip up a bottle like nobody’s business?
I can!
Can you do all the voices of Sesame Street and talk to Matchbox cars?
Can you say no to your kid again and again in the face of mounting tears?
Can you play a kazoo while changing a diaper?
I can
Are you a Master of Distraction? oh yeah yeah [WHAT WAS THAT?!?]
Can you crawl on your knees to pick up the toys in spite of your bad back?
Can you sit through a class about potty training without losing your shit?
Can you sing twinkle twinkle 10 million times?
I can!
Can you get everyone out the door on time?
I can!
Can you let your kid do his own thing that’s NOT like all the other kids?
Can you feed the whole gang and still drink your coffee HOT! before it gets ice cold?
Can you pop awake at 2 and again at 4 and 6?
I can!
Can you work all day and then play, play, play?
I can!
Can you chase your kid around the bend and up the stairs and down again?
Can you untangle hair no matter what’s in it? You don’t want to know . . .
Can you have deep thoughts while your kid is screaming?
Uh . . . no!
Can you grocery shop and manage your tot?
No. . . or sometimes?
Can you cut your kid’s nails and not have her wake up or bleed!?!
Can you fold laundry in your sleep and get it put away RIGHT!?!
Can you carry your kid for a thousand miles?
No! Kid, you gotta walk this time!
Can you wrangle your kids on a plane at 40,000 feet?
Barely!
Can you deal with boogers and snot and vomit and poop where you least expect it?
Can you spend date night going to McDonald’s? . . . Can I have your fries? . . . Uh . . . No!
You have no idea what it’s like to be a baby – or a toddler.
What do you know?
You’ve forgotten!
I want choices.
I want power . . . yeah
I want all your love.
I want hugs.
I want all demands met.
I don’t want to go yet.
I want to stay right here.
I want to play.
Go-Ah-Whay!
I want to hold your leg.
I want to pull your shirt.
I’m hungry now!
I want to eat all this dirt.
I want to pull your hair
I want to grab your face
I WILL YELL
IN THIS QUIET PLACE!
I want to lay right here.
If you pick me up.
I will flop like a noodle.
Or a stiff board.
No car seat for me.
No sir-eee . . . yeah
If you push me in, I will yell.
I’ll make you want to scream like hell.
But, I know you can’t.
Cause’ I’m too cute . . . other parents are watching you.
You’re stuck with MEEEEEEEEE! Yeah!
Parents are heroes
Excelling in Feats of Mediocrity
They go high
They go low
On hands and knees
Until the last Cheerio
The kids are awesome
They’re gonna be okay
You’re gonna be okay
Some moments will suck
Juice spills – there’s cat poo
The dog pees on the floor
You’ll want to run away
And join the circus
You’re already there
The kids are awesome
They’re gonna be okay
You’re gonna be okay
Breathe in and breathe out
You Excel In Feats of
Mediocrity! Yeah!
Parents are heroes – Excelling in – Feats of Mediocrity . . . yeah
Parents are heroes
Excelling in Feats of Mediocrity
They go high
They go low
On hands and knees
‘Til the last Cheerio
Parents are heroes – Excelling in – Feats of Mediocrity . . . yeah
|
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13. |
It's All Worth It
01:51
|
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Delightful Angst Seattle, Washington
We are Mary Beth Abel and Chris Gibson.
Parenting led us to begin this
project.
Mary Beth is a lyricist and singer. She had the ideas for each song, but Chris, with his gifts for playing and composing, brought Delightful Angst into its musical being.
Find out out more about Delightful Angst by visiting www.delightfulangst.com.
... more
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